Just got back from happy hour with my manager on his last day. He was doing the robot arm at one point, among other dance moves. It was pretty hilarious though. Him + alcohol = his personality x 5. But also really sad. I miss him already. He got all teary. I hate when people cry cause it makes me cry, too! It’s strange cause I didn’t expect to feel this way. We worked together really well. and this is my first real job, and now my go-to guy is gone. Maybe part of it is that I’ll be leaving everyone in August, and that time will probably fly by. Before I know it, I’ll be saying my good-byes. As much as I complain, I like the people I work with. They’re cool. People were joking around with me, asking if I’m old enough to drink. Today’s the first day I tried beer and didn’t find it horrible…. I’m not sure if I liked it or if it was just tolerable. haha. I saw sides of them I’d never seen before because everyone tries to act more professional at work. In a card, someone wrote “good luck.” This other guy I work with, he changed it to “good fuck.” I never would have expected that from him. He’s a jokester and all that, but he’s married with two kids. And yes, I know that shouldn’t tell all.  You just see sides of people you never see otherwise. 

Since I got back from winter break, work has been kind of nerve-wracking. My manager gave his two weeks notice but has been MIA because he got sick and then his wife’s grandfather passed away. Meetings with higher-ups. Today, I went to breakfast with my manager, boss, and three other higher-ups. Just me and them. They’re like where all the power in my group resides. I think it was largely an effort for them to make me feel like I’m not being completely abandoned. My manager keeps talking about how he supposedly abandoned everyone. First his group in MRL after 3 years, then my group now after 6 months. At happy hour, he kept saying that I was going to head a “We hate Greg” fan club group. haha. 

I had a meeting with my rotational manager last week, and I expressed to her how unhappy I was. I didn’t say those words but I said that I felt indispensable and that the work I was doing was not needed. I wrote a UNICORN program, for the software we use to run our chrom skids. The guy I work with didn’t even use it and wrote his own program. But when I was talking to my rotational manager, she knew what I was asking… if I could leave my rotation and start a new one. The answer was that no one has ever done that before. I think she would be reluctant to because that would be admitting a huge failure on their part to put me in a rotation with a high business need. I started wondering if anyone has quit before finishing all of their rotations. I’ve never heard of anyone doing that, but if it has been done, I’m guessing no one talks about it. But anyways, you can just call me Greg now. That’s my manager’s name. I’m the new Greg.

I also had my first 1:1 meeting with my boss. And I found out today that my objectives have basically changed completely! They’re not hiring someone to replace my manager. Instead, some of his work is being distributed to me! I don’t have his qualifications. I don’t know how they can have so much trust in me! A lot of the work I was going to be doing has been taken over by VMSC, a separate group within Merck MMD. At this point, I’m just kinda like fine. Screw it. You can have it. I just feel so tired. I’m tired of doing all the grunt work without reaping any of the benefits. I can barely ever pick myself up to get out of bed in the morning anymore. I always feel tired/unmotivated to get out of bed in the morning. I used to be an early riser, or relatively so. All I do now is go to work, sleep, eat, play games on my phone. I need to stop gaining weight… 15 pounds! I also feel a bout of winter depression coming on. When I got back from Texas, one of my co-workers commented that my skin tone changed! Just in the short time I was gone. I didn’t even spend any time outdoors! Not enough Vitamin D out here. It snowed today. yuck. Unless I’m boarding, the snow needs to just stay away. 

Come visit me! I have a place for you to stay! :)

This will be me tomorrow.

Must repeat three times for RODAC testing. eek! The gown part is really hard! Nothing can touch the floor. I scrubbed really well in the shower. 

Thanksgiving, please come faster! Should I attempt jumps again while snowboarding? I remember how painful it was to even breathe when I hurt my ribs. I injure myself very easily… If it were survival of the fittest, I would have been long gone. 

Snow in October (Taken with picplz.)

October 27

My manager gave me a nickname today… Trouble :( 

We have a very unique relationship. 

October 29

This is in response to Toni:

i don’t know how to reply on tumblr. is it even possible? My manager is a guy. I think we’ve gotten very comfortable, to be able to say anything we want to each other. My nickname has some truth to it though… When we go into the core (processing area), they have strict rules. You can’t have two sets of doors open at once. Basically every time I go in, I forget and open the door when someone else has another set of doors open, and I set off the alarm. It’s silly things like that. And he makes fun of me for it. But I feel no shame in bringing up the fact that he’s bald. We were talking about Halloween, and I asked him if I could draw on his head. lol. He also hates spiders and germs, while I hate dentist tools, so we managed to find ways to tease each other about that. He has told me that I’m doing a good job at work though. Hope it’s the truth! 

BUT OMG SNOW! IT’S ONLY OCTOBER! 

owl mug! (Taken with picplz.)

Fashion’s night out at king of prussia. (Taken with picplz.)